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6 Texts You Definitely Sent to Mom in Your First Week of College
Five Months Later, Administrators Find Fossil Free Penn Still Sitting in College Hall
Class of 2021 Shatters Record for Most Virginities Preserved During NSO
Penn Researchers Find Ancient Customs Alive in Modern Fraternities
Student Who Needs Glasses Mistaken by Professor as Actually Engaged in Discussion
OP-ED: It's Time to Standardize the Weight of Doors on Campus
Riveting: Professor Reads Entire Syllabus Out Loud to Enraptured Students
Confused Freshman Accidentally Dirty Rushes MERT
OP-ED: What's Up, I Know Jack. Can I Get Into Your Party?
OP-ED: My Internship in North Korea Ends Next Week, and I’m Starting to Get Worried
Lame Incoming Freshman Ready to "Totally Reinvent" Himself
True Story: My Sublessee Tried to Sell My Bed While I Was Sleeping in It
Forgetting How Terrible School Is, Students Appear Excited for Semester to Start
SFS Will Now Offer Undergrads Financial Aid for Only 47 Days
Rising Junior on Track to Watch 800 Hours of TV this Summer



















