Under the Button is part of a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

Search Results

Below are your search results. You can also try a Basic Search.

Breaking: Girl Who Has Her Dad’s Card on Her Uber Account Venmo Requests You for Last Night

(01/31/24 7:45pm)

“Last night was sooo fun! Can you just Venmo me $11.50 for the Uber there and back? Thaks, you’re the best!” This was the message that two Penn students woke up to on Sunday morning. The messages would have gone unquestioned if it weren’t for a tip UTB received that day from undergraduate Allison White, who split an Uber ride with the said Venmo requester, Beth Roberts. Both Allison, Beth, and Beth’s little split an Uber to Kappa Lambda Lambda’s Late Night for Late Stage Dementia at a South Street club on Saturday night. In an exclusive interview, Allison reported that Beth bragged the past week about how her father’s card is on her Venmo account.

Pledging is Over: Girl in Your Seminar Who Wears Animal Onesie Just Weird

(10/26/23 7:08pm)

Penn marketing students were boggled this week when their fellow classmate showed up to class after Thanksgiving break still wearing an animal onesie. Students in the course, Marketing in the World of Markets, said they were not surprised when the college sophomore arrived in class one day during mid October wearing a fleece giraffe footie pajamas complete with a horned hood. 

Weaponized Incompetence: Professor Doesn’t Put Syllabus in Syllabus Section of Canvas

(10/05/23 4:14pm)

As midterm season rolls around, hundreds of students are combing through Canvas in an attempt to track down their syllabus and the all too important grading breakdown. For most, it’s a simple scroll through the menu items, Class Readings (boooring), People (is that cute guy from Psych 1001 taking the course?), Course Materials @ Penn libraries (no idea what that is), aaaaand finally the Syllabus page.

“Let’s Get Drinks After This!” and Other Ways to End Your Last Appointment After You Age Out of Your Pediatricians Practice

(09/21/23 9:55pm)

It's probably happened to you. And if it hasn't already, it's about to. You're going about your life as a super chill undergraduate. Next thing you know you go home for the weekend, and you're stricken by an ear infection. Your mom urges you to go to your doctor. Let's face it. You probably haven't been in that office since you had to get a physical to play JV volleyball. The walls of the office are covered in murals of safari animals. There are framed finger paintings in the exam room. Some woman in her twenties looks at you and the kids playing in the waiting room and asks "Which one is yours?" 

Accepted Class of 2027 Worried There Is Less Recess Time at College

(04/10/23 11:21pm)

April means that a lucky batch of 2,400 seventeen-year-olds and a few degenerate twenty-odd-year-olds will commit to attending Penn this fall as part of the class of 2027. In President Liz Magill's words, this is set to be one of Penn's most diverse classes, with students from 49 states and 5 countries. 

Stupid Bitch! Rushing as a Sophomore Is Actually Super Fun and Will Not Make You Feel Lonely and Left Out!

(02/16/23 6:22am)

It's February, which means sorority rush season has come to a close. With that comes a year of angst and uncertainty for freshman girls who are following their mom's advice and "feeling school out before making a commitment." There are a myriad of questions that come with the wait until the next recruitment cycle, namely, what will it be like rushing as a sophomore? UTB talks with various members of greek life to get their take.

"I Don’t Wanna Yuck Someone’s Yum": Devil's Advocate Guy Picks Up New Signature Saying

(01/17/23 2:55pm)

Sources report that HIST 1240, Scars: Impacts of the Cold War, just got way more intolerable. The conversations in this ten person seminar are dominated by pushy, reactionist college sophomore Aaron Smith. Things are taking a turn. Smith, known for butting into conversations with "just to play devils advocate" followed by something wildly insensitive, just came up with a new slogan. "I don't wanna yuck someone's yum."

I’m Just Trying to Figure Out What Sport You Play, Not Look at Your Boobs

(11/07/22 4:23pm)

We have all been there. You see an athlete approaching, and you try and use every context clue to figure out what sport she plays. Tall or short? Ponytailed or French braided? On foot or scooter? There is a myriad of sports she could play, as she gets closer you squint at her shirt. It comes into focus. Penn Athletics… basketball!