Oh Wow! Question Somehow Manages to Fall Below “No Stupid Questions” Threshold
“If I’d known that I had such dipshits in my class, I would’ve blocked off questioning entirely.”
Most Recent
'Good Work, Team' Says Guy in Your Recitation Who Ignored All Your Suggestions
What he lacks in experience, competence, and general knowledge from the reading and/or lecture, Josh more than makes up for in confidence.
Op-Ed: Front Row Texters Should Be Compensated as Honorary Lecturers
Perhaps with incentive, they could teach professors to intentionally reveal their Grindr histories and takeout orders while lecturing about far less riveting topics like Oscar Wilde.
BREAKING Report: Huntsman Building Was Shaped to Reinforce Penn’s Phallocentrism
The debate is fierce ... the question is, what would you do?
New Waste Reduction Initiative Requires Students to Eat Out of Dining Hall Workers’ Cupped Hands
The sustainability team also encourages sucking their fingers clean in order to get every last tasty drop.
If Wharton Students Are Competent, Why Do They Have Seating Charts?
Wharton has actually seen such success with their seating charts that they are publishing some new classroom policies. In Wharton classes, you now have to raise your hand when you want to use the bathroom and at the end of the semester if you get good grades you can go to the scholastic book fair.
Local White Kid Confused After Not Being Given ‘Priority Access’ to Club Applications
If you can support in any way, he'll take donations by check.
REPORT: COVID Spit Tests Longer Than 20 Seconds Indicate Head Game Weak
“It’s important that we know all we can about COVID,” said the lead researcher, “And even more important that we have an objective metric to determine who gives the best sloppy toppy.”
I Pay Lyn by Giving Her Bites of my Sandwich, and You Should Too
A wise man once said “If you give a man a fish one day, you give him one fish for that day, but if you teach a man how to be a fish, then he can be your fish for a lifetime”. This is exactly why I pay Lyn for my bacon egg and cheese by giving her one bite of my bacon egg and cheese.
Finally! Penn Dedicates Unimaginable Sums of Money to Some Ill-defined, Abstract Goal
“We have a lot of money, and we will use it,” Director of Money Julia Stevenson proclaimed in her statement.
Wow! Most Privileged Motherfuckers in Country Find Some New Shit to Complain About
Chaily Derecskey
Tuesday, Oct. 5, 2021Tue, Oct 5, 2021
Out of those surveyed, 82% think the dining hall food is “gross,” 68% think the dining hall staff could have “better attitudes,” and 97% will never have to work in the food industry in their lives.
Architecture Student Fatally Misunderstands "Flipped Classroom"
Chan had spent the night unbolting all tables and chairs from the floor, hoisting them up, and rebolting them to the ceiling. u00a0
OP-ED: It's Easy to Breathe in a Mask
Freedom is in the air.
Misogynist? This Male Professor Assigns Female Students Homework
We have to draw a line somewhere.
Woah! Guy Wearing Shirt with Garish, Unique Pattern
An abstract take on polkadot? A paisley messiah?
Oh Gosh: Frat Boy Unsure Whether it’s Demeaning to say ‘Woman’
If you could spare a moment and explain everything ever to me, that’d be awesome.
Mask and Wig to Accept Women, Only if They're Hot Though
Penn’s Mask and Wig Club, the oldest all-male collegiate musical comedy troupe in the United States, will welcome members of all genders for the 2022-2023 academic year, as long as they are physically attractive to current members.
Climate Week: Residential Halls Replace Toilet Paper With Sandpaper to See if Anyone Notices
Yes, it's good for the environment. Who needs beaches anyway?
Emotional! White Frat Boy From Connecticut Admits That He Resonates Deeply With Kendrick Lamar’s Hit Song “M.A.A.D. City”
"Lamar talks about growing up and seeing what gang life does to a person - one time, I saw a homeless man outside of the Whole Foods I go to everyday after practice for sushi."
