you can explain  trickle-down  economics  but how do you explain  these tears  trickling down my face -  :'(

Pandemic hatred is a perfect excuse to cut out all the annoying acquaintances in your life and those few unfortunate anti-mask friends that you let slide before. 

Since getting back in the swing of things, Garcia has taken great pleasure in closely examining her eyebrows throughout her statistics class.

Inhumane canker blossom of slimey puss and stink cow piss and shit sick to the sight jello-brain poisonous bunch-backed toad faithless hopeless dumb-monger goatish deformity of upside-down broken inverted nonexistent logic with strawberry ice cream innards 

I waited patiently as we put eggs, milk, and butter in our cart. I watched cautiously as my mom put fruits and veggies into our cart. By the time Mom put the bread in the cart I was getting antsy. I couldn't stop thinking about my special treat.

 “So please, for the safety of the school, wear a Drexel T-shirt when you go out, and don’t forget…..Go Dragons!"

The table missed seeing the frat guys slowly develop hearing loss and miss their shot with girls every weekend. It was like the whole house left without even saying goodbye. 

Language is a beautiful way to connect with others, and I can’t wait to use my linguistic skills to tell the world how much of an absolute bitch my housemate is.

The sleek metal, cold to the touch and coursing with Apollonian energy, feels alien to the gays and girls’ empathetic faculties. Some are also just simply “too hot” to reduce themselves to using technology on a consistent basis. 

So, we’re lighting up right? Come on, there's no way the professor checks in on us. We’re freakin’ breakout room six, man! No holds barred!

Based on my high-tech Fitbit, I can guarantee that I've spent 99.5% of my time within a one-mile radius of my house. Having spent so much time here the past few months, I thought it was fitting to give you a tour of my special little island filled with highlights from my town.

When asked how this decision will help out schools, Cohen stated with a smile: “The Penn Bookstore is committed to price matching any textbook needs."

It’s time to wake up, smell the roses, and call it as we see it. “Synchronous” and “Asynchronous” must be replaced with “Fuck” and “Fuck Me In The Ass.”

“Yeah, I’m here because I dissed my professor’s new haircut pretty hard,” Phyllis Herrell (C ‘23) confessed to his counselor. “I mean, it really looked like a wild racoon made its way onto his scalp and died there, but he wasn’t supposed to hear all that.”

“Of course it’s California and Oregon. The damn libertards are setting the state on fire and making smoke just so people wear masks,” said Bigdumm. “Wake up you sheeple, can’t you see it's just the government trying to control you.” 

Capitalizing off tensions arising in part due to the Cold War, this group successfully destroyed the property of thousands of people in West Philadelphia during the 1960s.

“The transition to online classes has been really great.” Tommy said, “I never need to come up with an excuse not to pass the pen. All to myself, baby.” 

Beto beats Biden by over 12 points with voters who drink craft beer!

"Look, this semester is challenging us all in really unique ways, and it's certainly not going to be normal by any standards. Adjustments will have to be made," he says, handing out his unchanged syllabus. 

I began wondering, why are people surprised by the events of 2020? Like Cats was basically the introduction. And no one said anything?