Childbirth. Now that we’re thinking about it, having twins is probably on par with meal prepping’s level of difficulty. But just one kid? Definitely easier.
I have a full P.R. team on retainer, and they’ve brought people back from a lot worse than making their “teachers” cry.
We should all be very pleased with the directions our lives are taking.
"And what's worse, everyone is talking about this "new normal" like we are never going to be able to go back to how life was before. I'm putting my foot down. I won't accept it."
We cannot even imagine the depth and breadth of Penn's sphere of influence. There's the saying "money makes the world go 'round," but I think the more apt expression is: "money makes the world burn, especially if it's Penn's money."
The DP Angels is an advice column brought to you by your DP Design girlies, where we respond to questions from the Penn community concerning all things romance, social life, and campus culture!
“I am pleased to say that our great league will not be playing sports for the foreseeable future,” Harris said. “We are once again taking the lead on this issue, and I am determined to uphold our league’s reputation."
“What an amazing testament to Mary Shelley, my God,” Tenderson remarked, shaking his head. “Wait, she was contemporary, right? Shit.”
Hear me roar.
You believe this narrative that a virus from a chinese bat came all the way to America and shut down our economy for a year!? Everyone knows bats can’t fly that far.
In a recruiting twist, Priore is rumored to be the hiring target of local favorites Allegro Pizza and Zesto Pizza.
Better step it up student athletes!
It’s time we bring back excitement around Penn sports, and it’s time we bring back rowbottoms.
“There’s definitely a lot of influence from Taco Bell and Chipotle in that bathroom,” one student said. “I can safely say that I’ll be watching from my dorm next game.”
What tipped the investigators off was one key flaw in this ingenious plan: No one had been seen playing this sport in real life outside of a fictional state called Connecticut.
Privilege is so lit. Probably the best thing about being a straight white male.
We may never recall all we found to be normal prior to the beginning of the pandemic, but we should not get caught up in the importance of trying to regain that sense of normalcy; we need to do more.
Like many regretful property owners, we were emboldened by a particularly charismatic real estate agent who convinced us to stretch just a little bit beyond our budget.
Penn’s willful ignorance of Orthodox Jewish students’ religious practices, as well as Stephanie’s well-planned-out schedule to live it the fuck up in Bora Bora can be corrected.
Honors/Awards: Second best bong ripper in my frat, 99+ Tinder likes, Definitely not a virgin, Was hazed for two years instead of the usual one year