"I'm not a hero. I'm just a kid looking to defend my freedoms. My mom said I had to clean my room, but Thomas Jefferson said I didn't have to."
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After a successful reign of terror on the West Philadelphia community, Amy Gutmann is now expected to become the next ambassador to Germany under Biden’s America.
Stouffer residents will now have to live in fear, as they could have a spell cast on them at any time.
Gutmann has already packed twelve Michael Kors bags full of Dirndls and pantsuits, and she now only responds to “Präsidentin Gutmann.”
So get to the Penn Bookstore today! This shit is the deal of the century.
For one teen, Michael Green (C '24), loneliness has become a thing of the past ever since he made a cool new friend: Mom.
"Sue, I do not love you to the moon and back. Do you know how far that is?! Do you know how long that would take to travel?"
Never go back to high school. Once you escape that place, run.
This white man truly does not discriminate at all!
I think it's fine, so it is.
Women over 45 worldwide closed their eyes on Saturday night, oblivious to the fragility of their existence, and awoke Sunday morning fluent in Portuguese.
"Yeah, she would not stop doing poppers that night," Ryan's other gay friend Josh Compas (C '21) told us, "We were like, 'what are you doing,' but she just kept chanting 'hashtag queen shit' over and over, and then I said, 'it's literally Pride Month, Nicole,' and she was like, 'exactly.'"
Your key to a genuine conversation this Father's Day!
The top 3 signs that you is Daddy
The public seems to be very excited about this new mode of intimate oversharing.
"I don't know what happened, but those kids are little monsters," said Mr. Jackson in an interview, "now I understand what that phrase 'too much of a good thing' means."
Get ready to gobble and slurp your Daddy’s cummies at Hillel this fall!
Excited for quality time with Papa, you pick a new release film you haven't seen before—and just like that, you seal your fate. You are about to watch porn with Dad.
There's still time to string together the one thing that Dad has been hoping for: that idealized fantasy picnic shown during the side effects of every medication ad.