Local Student Outsmarts Van Pelt Bag Search Policy by Shoving Rare 19th Century Manuscript Up Ass
Witnesses say the suspect was last seen waddling past the library security desk.
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Vaccines Work: How My Unvaccinated Roommate Died of Misdiagnosed Tuberculosis
Check on your friends with Health Registration Holds…
Local Student Outsmarts Van Pelt Bag Search Policy by Shoving Rare 19th Century Manuscript Up Ass
Witnesses say the suspect was last seen waddling past the library security desk.
How to Merge the Ego and the Self in the Huntsman Bathroom Mirror
I miss the enlightened and sincere demeanor you presented with before this interschool minor!
Vaccines Work: How My Unvaccinated Roommate Died of Misdiagnosed Tuberculosis
Check on your friends with Health Registration Holds…
UTB’s Guide for Sending Your Professor Ignominious Emails Asking for Undeserved Extension or Apologizing for Irredeemable Wretchedness
Liwa Sun
Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2022Tue, Nov 29, 2022
First step, enema.
Oh Shit! This Song Makes Me Want to Move My Body in Ways I’ve Never Moved Before
Danse, dance, dAAAAAAAANCE!
Happy Thanksgiving! My Friend Told Me I Have the Facial Structure of Goody Proctor
I think it’s your nose, maybe your chin. It's like someone overlayed every white girls' face.
601 Reasons Why Doja Cat's "Get Into It (Yuh)" is the Song of the Summer 2022
Spoiler: It's not what you think!
Damn: Insufferable Rich Kid Actually Pretty Drippy
Despite his decidedly insufferable characteristics, I must concede that this kid fucking dripsssss.
OP-ED: You Can’t Kick Me Out of a GSR in a Way That Matters
I realize I am damned to this narrative.
Green Eggs AND Ham, Commons Has Everything Today!
I do not like commons green eggs and ham. I do not like this, Maya I am.
Sophomore Misses Midterm to Wait in Line for 1.5 Oz of Glossier You Eau de Parfum
It's so worth it! It really does smell a little different on everyone.
OP-ED: I Need You To Love Me More
Nothing is truly ever as it seems, yet everything acts in accordance to what you do. Therefore, extend your love to me!
They’ve Gone Too Far: The Penntrification of Northeast Philadelphia
And hey, it’s not like Philly is going to do anything about it. One resident close to the demolished shelter said, “This place kinda sucks” when I asked her how she felt about Penn’s most recent expansion.
Erm, Why Does Your Childhood Friend Have a Two-Year-Old and You Don’t Even Have Your Bachelors
Jersey? Hannah is going to OWN a house with a yard? And she is a manager at Super Cuts in Cherry Hill?
BREAKING: Campus A Cappella Group Ousts Musical Arranger After Botched Harmony at Family Showcase Night
This ruined the would-be event of the year for empty-nesters who now have nothing better to look forward to than amateur a cappella.
Aww: Local Incel Elated to See Tinder Match Who Ghosted Them All Cozy and Well-Hydrated at UBB
The critically acclaimed creep show You has a fifth season set in the most perilous, abstract, iridescent slice of paradise: United By Blue (Coffee (Inc(.))).
Vibrator Left Behind in Huntsman GSR After Inaugural Edge Fund Board Meeting
“Anyone else smell fish?” asked a concerned bystander.
OP-ED: I Love Venn Diagrams
I love you and I don't know your stance on venn diagrams.
Such Activity! My Roommate Does a Mad Fit Dance Workout While I Lounge Wistfully on the Couch
For now, engaging in a Mad Fit Workout is merely an unattainable dream, one that I reach for, but never quite reach.
Good for Her? Girl Who Won't Stop Talking About ASL Knows 2 Signs, the ABCs, and Not One Deaf Person
"I think this one means love... Or if you ask my boyfriend, it means rock on!"
