Arab noses can be so beautiful, darling.

Two authors offer compelling viewpoints regarding the ongoing UC Townhomes controversy. 

I just found out that no one dies from love? This discovery has me shocked and upset to say the least. 

SAE was even rumored to throw late nights and events, how festive! Students even called SAE "dank," as a California girl who loves to hit the blunt, I was sold.

I’m literally addicted to food I have to eat it every day.

That building is The Gutty. Guh-tee. ?????.

How could I disobey such an important cause, such a vital commandment? 

You’re gonna come, they dangle a pocket watch in front of your face. Your vision goes black. All you can think about is the Mask & Wig show. You’re convinced. 

Get it over with, wet and sloppy, just like I asked.

“You’re so good at Math 1400… I wish I could do derivatives like you.”

Everything about this house says: I was the longest serving president in Penn history.

taketh me hence in an ambulance, a warmeth forehead’s kiss <3

Shall I let the image of me approaching imminent death hang above my head like the Sword of Damocles? My mortality alone is principle enough.

Cishet men/women dating in a nebulous queer way shall immediately be VPs of the diversity and inclusion committee.

When I met him during move-in my heart skipped a beat. So did my mom's. 

I am a top student at the University of Pennsylvania, not a prostitute.

Indeed, I have even attempted walking closely behind freshmen with hopes of corralling the trailings of their unregulated pheromones into my shell of a body. 

A failed situationship did not derail my life for four months!

If I lived in Rodin, all my dreams would come true.

MANIFESTATION IS REAL IF YOU SKIP THIS ARTICLE YOU WILL HAVE BAD KARMA FOREVER!!!! AND A PIANO WILL DROP ON YOUR HEAD AT 11:11PM!!!!!!