Martin Luther wrote 95 of them and still had the energy, motivation, and balls left over to spearhead the entire Reformation.

The flayed corpse of God is clearly controversial. For one, does God even have a corpse? 

We could study, but only a little. We’d almost certainly be consumed by our passions.

I remember my history teacher told me that I wasn’t gonna get into college, my english teacher told me I would never get a job, and my french teacher told me something in French that I couldn’t really understand, but, based off his tone, it seemed like it was mean.

Is it too much to ask for smaller gyros to fit my dainty, feminine mouth?

With your new internship you got from your dad’s fraternity brother, you’re now the most qualified person in your friend group in all aspects of life. 

Being a witch is fine, but being a Hozier fan? You know she’s going to be into some freaky stuff.

Throw a couple mandarin oranges (call them by their Spanish name to make it seem more expensive) and a kiwi into a bowl, say it’s from some island off of New Zealand, and there will be a line of white women out the door by 11 a.m..

If all the turtles die, who am I going to swim with when I go back to my fave spot in Kauai? Def not my mom lol. Pleaseeee save the turtles so I don’t have to hang out with my mom in Hawaii! 

I don’t care if you have the sweatiest ankles in Pennsylvania. You have to wear pants.

Instead of actually making the course more challenging, I’ve just decided to eliminate the letter A from my repertoire.

This past Spring Fling, several colleagues and I were dispatched to ensure that students were having a safe and legal weekend by going undercover and attending college parties. I am writing to inform all of you that this was extremely important and very much not a “waste of time and resources."

I knew that without Fling to look forward to and enjoy, my life would be quite meaningless. 

Sorry we haven’t talked in a while :/ You always call me in the middle of my Penn Appétit meetings, so I can't pick up.

I started out with good intentions. My project, Juntos Garajados: Building Garages for Goats in Bolivia seemed positioned to be the next big South American goat garage-building project, and I had my budget down to a T. I knew I was about to change the world. 

The photographs of the Messier 87 black hole means a whole lot for astronomy, but what does it mean for me, as a Sagittarius?

So please, start paying attention to me, and fix that exam grade I emailed you about.

We got the shot with a baguette (and a deliberately suggestive comment about other baguette shaped items), the shot in the Louvre (posing next to a sculpture — she doesn't know which one), and the shot capturing the end of her time there with her making a faux-sad face saying she never wants to leave this “magical place.”

TheMinimunWordRequirementWas2000ButMyTotalWordCountWasOnlyOne.

Listen, I’m not here to convince anyone since no one really agrees with my P.O.V., but, as I am here with a platform that can help aid my personal agendas, I say a second Pret is what this campus needs.