I am “your cousin Kevin” now, bitch.  

This is insane. This morning, at the Starbucks on 34th and Walnut, I had an experience that was beyond life-changing.

Please, follow us through our journey to what we like to call The Alps of Eastern Pennsylvania… or… The Poconos.

In an official statement, Magill responded to critics: “To our activists of color, I hear you. I am listening. Next time, I will try and listen a little more closely, though — I think I know what PILOTs are now.”

You could totally pull it off.

Here we all are. Together, on Penn‘s campus, in Philly, and, most importantly, wet.

Cishet men/women dating in a nebulous queer way shall immediately be VPs of the diversity and inclusion committee.

When I met him during move-in my heart skipped a beat. So did my mom's. 

Pour liquid nitrogen onto your feet. Your feet are no longer wet, since they are now solid.

I am a top student at the University of Pennsylvania, not a prostitute.

Indeed, I have even attempted walking closely behind freshmen with hopes of corralling the trailings of their unregulated pheromones into my shell of a body. 

A failed situationship did not derail my life for four months!

Is getting MERTed... finally cool? 

The new curriculum was made possible due to a generous endowment from the Ponzi Foundation.

They will begin leasing the Radian next year as sophomore on campus housing, and you and I are on this cosmic journey together.

I should have known when he said he had a lot of family in Utah.

If I lived in Rodin, all my dreams would come true.

55% of the freshman class identifies as BIPOC (Businesspeople, Investors, People of Capital).

It’s just so hard being so bookish all the time.

Ugh, this is not sliving, Becky!