Even more apparent was her perfect 1080p 60fps video quality. It was top-of-the-line image perfection with every detail perfectly outlined on camera.

"By visiting others, you could be putting yourself — and your loved ones — at risk, no matter how fun it is to break all your friends' rocks and run around whacking them with a net. Believe me, I know.”

Per medical guidelines, Scorpios will not be allowed on the premises.

A universal fail policy would ensure that no student will be forced to pass their classes, no matter their circumstances at home.

College senior Tommy Anderson just got a podcast, and you’re gonna fucking listen to it.

i swear i read james joyce one time just one time and this what i get how preposterous ludicrous wow this sucks but i keep coming back for more for more for more okay i must admit this is actually pretty liberating

If she had seen the "hey" that you sent four days ago at 3:24 A.M., blind drunk off of eight dollar Pinot Grigio and loneliness, she absolutely would have responded. Right?

Most human-sized hamster balls have a 2-meter diameter, so you'll always be following CDC guidelines!

We emailed Wharton sophomore Justin Verdaux about his perspective on the (fecal) matter.

The United States is as few as five hours behind Italy, and even fewer hours behind other countries.

YES! Let’s just smoke a cigarette. Delish! Nothing tastes better than that.

I know this is going to be hard for you to hear, but the time has come for you to take that towel and put it on the floor to be washed a month from now when you get to it. 

Let’s be honest, this is how it is. This is probably going to be downvoted by the 4th floor but everyone knows they’re social climbers.

By midnight, the party was at maximum capacity and the poor west coast students, whose nights were just starting, were locked out from joining in the call.

These are AirPods pro. They have noise-canceling capabilities, so I can pleasure you without distraction and listen to my Gary V. podcast at the same time. 

The truth is that I’ve been struggling with personal heartbreak for a while. It just hurts so bad. I want her. I want Bobby’s Burger Palace back to tear apart my asshole.

It’s high time we show him what happens when he messes with engineering students.

Students everywhere are saying, “COUGHHH COUGCCougcuoguhghGHCOUGH.” 

So, how about some sexting, eh? To pass the time? To make the most of a dire situation?

It’s closing time. Like Fresh Grocer or Bobby’s Burgers, time to get gone people.