It Just Looks Sooo Yummy! Freshman Makes It Big Food-Blogging 1920 Commons
The establishment is rapidly gaining prominence nationally and internationally, and is expecting to be awarded the third, coveted Michelin Star later this week.
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Intro to Marketing Professor Calls for All Essays to be Written in Clickbait Format AND YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
Claudia Hogan
Tuesday, March 23, 2021Tue, Mar 23, 2021
"Stuart March (C’23) discovered how to achieve incredible results in the class with one simple trick and posted a picture of the email to Reddit with the title 'This is the LAST marketing class you’ll EVER need.'"
BREAKING: A New Annotation Has Been Added to Your Canvas Submission
That night, everything becomes clear under the ruthless moonlight. A new annotation has indeed been added to your canvas submission. MATH114 TA Bob Greisch has assessed your quiz and annotated: “None of these steps really help you get towards upper triangular.”
Annenberg Study Finds That Everyone Just Needs to Chill Out a Bit
“What we did was have our trained research fellows go out and observe people. They would look and see if people were like kinda chill and just vibing or if they were totally nutty and psycho,” Dubois said.
Freshman Being Bullied in Sorority Groupchat Happy to Have Finally Found Her Sisters
I’ll have another chemistry midterm, but the approval of a top tier frat can’t be regained once it’s gone.
What the Hell? Someone On Floor Cooking Steak au Poivre Again
What is that succulent scent wafting through the hallowed halls of Harnwell? God damn it. Is that steak au poivre?
Good Vibes 20% Effective Against UK Variant
James Blume
Monday, March 22, 2021Mon, Mar 22, 2021
The study survey created to code and quantify the good vibes variable among students showed a strong relationship between getting covid and feeling bad.
COVID-19 Slay! Couples Share Saliva Vial to Save Time Getting Tested
Due to these new testing protocols, there has been an increase in elaborate kissing outside of testing centers.
Freak Freshman Is "Fired up and Ready to Go" After Fully Recharging in Two-Day Spring Stay
“Wednesday. Thursday. Two full days off— just amazing really,” Chapman said.
Student Who Hasn’t Eaten in 30 Minutes Hands Back Jolly Rancher Blue Spit Test
Jacob doesn’t even eat Jolly Ranchers. “I mean, don’t look in the cabinet, but if you do, the big bag of them in the kitchen belongs to my roommate.”
OP-ED: Penn Greek Life Spreading COVID-19 Is Dismissive Towards Those in the Philadelphia Community That Failed To Get Bids
“It’s disrespectful towards those in the Philadelphia community who have always been hospitable towards these kids and literally can’t even get into an invite-only rush event. It’s bullshit.”
Ego of the Weak: Under the Button
UTB Staff
Tuesday, March 16, 2021Tue, Mar 16, 2021
UTB: It feels amazing knowing that we’re the sole source of news on this campus.
Report: Second Floor Panera Bread Fraught With the Hostile Stares of the Better Adjusted
But is any of this effort enough to gear me up for the absolute bloodbath on the second floor of Panera Bread?
Fuck: Talented Writer in Your Creative Writing Workshop Is Actually in SEAS
On top of being talented in creative writing, Fiona was also exceedingly employable.
Penn Introduces Summer Stay, Graduation Stay: You're Staying Here Forever
You must resign and accept the fact that you are here again, and that you are staying here forever.
Breaking: In-Person Graduation Announced to be 'Nerds Only'
The move is severe, but not surprising, as Penn has a long and proud history of being a nerds-first school.
5 Signs Your Asynchronous Professor Is Secretly Into You
2. They tell you to email them after class with “questions." If this happens, you’re for sure going to nail your professor. They’re basically asking you to stay late, maybe turn the lights low, and finish off that hot lecture about physics with a tasty email nightcap.
CDC Reports B.1.1.7 Variant Transmitted Through The Great British Bake Off
The CDC has confirmed our worst fears: the strain is transmitted through one of Americau2019s most beloved British shows, The Great British Bake Off.u00a0
