I love the idea of watching 23 soon-to-be consultants pretend to be instruments.

After months of being an observer in the culinary arts, I am now chef!

Pizza slices will be limited to one per person and will be a generous two inches in width.

Fiction before fact.

The world is crumbling before my micrometer-wide eyes!

Pottruck, a shining beacon of scholarship and mental advancement, has been home base for Penn’s brightest since 2003. And that’s what makes this new finding so baffling.

Are there any other pisces in the room?

I am Interim President. I matter. I am enough.

Upon reflection, I am proposing that NONE of us talk about our lawyers, that way nobody feels left out. 

Welcome to the future and Vive la France!

ohh, did that one have fudge inside??? :) :) :) Hell YEAH! :) :) :) :) :)

I frolic around my lab bench, flirting with other boys and knocking over glassware.

How many times do I have to explain this? It’s really not that hard of a concept to grasp.

If students can shut up and enjoy their rice, then Penn Dining might consider adding lettuce again.

You're not you when your bladder's about to burst! Go buy a diaper :)

Amidst the week’s geopolitical turmoil, a recent Penn Dems communiqué urged members to center policy discussions around what voters really want: triple masking kindergarteners in perpetuity.

"I skipped my morning lecture because I got distracted by my reflection, and then I rolled around on the floor of McClelland for half an hour."

 My clout got too high! That happens sometimes. Hoes mad! 

Usually I am told that the reason for this emotional downpour is my kind face. I can’t change this about myself, believe me I’ve tried. So, I’ve devised a solution.

"Ballpark like … 800k. Y’know, not struggling, but not necessarily raking in the dough.”