If only the simulator had a drunk driving setting or an extramarital affair setting built in, it would be perfect.
Plans for her day of rest included skipping all of her classes, having brunch at a restaurant of her choice, purchasing three new pairs of shoes, and indulging in a Netflix bender.
Her trip came in the wake of an incredibly contentious election that put the future of a two-state solution on the line. Amazingly, Birthright managed to convince Sophie that Israel was less of a country with real world policy implications and more of a movie set for her very own eat, pray, love.
I have compiled these photos of my European adventure to honor this sacred building in our time of collective grief.
What kind of twisted soul enjoys blowing out the eardrums of everyone in a 5-mile radius?
Some classmates had begun to grow suspicious as Jackson sneezed six times merely during the conversation about possibly moving the class outdoors.
Congratulations! You now possess the ability to make all of your native-speaking friends either sympathetic or uncomfortable.
Pity us, noble Scene King, ruler of our lands. We worship you and would be honored to kiss the soles of your fucking overpriced shoes, worn simply to flex.
Last weekend he went down on me and when he was ‘done,’ he asked if that could double-count for the rest of the week.
Now, the votes have been cast, and a new board has been selected, and the Undergraduate Assembly can finally return to not impacting the day-to-day life of students as it was designed to do. Finally students can take a deep breath and focus on things that actually matter, ranging from doing laundry to literally anything other than UA.
Of course, Reynolds could use another artist’s lyrics, or even come up with her own witty phrase, but she has become so used to looking up Drake verses for each post that she can no longer form an original thought.
She began to skip classes and to stay out late with that boy Ben from ZBT. She would come back and do work well into the early hours.
"My dishes in the sink are hairy now.”
Sheesh, Joseph — join the 21st century and catfish your mom on Jdate like the rest of us.
Aw man! Chris Solomons (C '20) was all ready for a killer Fling weekend until, according to him, the weather had other plans. UTB caught up with Solomons as he reclined in a bean bag chair, a bowl of Chocolatey Chip Teddy Grahams in hand.
She had left her pods back at her house on 39th street, and there was no chance she was willing to walk six blocks to pick up a new pod.
Until College Green smells like syrup at all hours of the day, this university is not living up to its full potential.
This wasn't the first time Crews has attempted to feign likability. Last semester, he tried picking up skateboarding and the guitar, but unfortunately that only further destroyed his social standing, and let’s not get into the time he taught himself to do over 50 fidget spinner tricks.
Coated in a substantial layer of dust, the Lululemon yoga mat she bought sophomore year rests desolately in the corner of her bedroom closet. It has remained untouched for the past two years — she last attempted to use it at home in November 2016, guided by a soothing Youtube instructional video on her 13” Macbook Air.
With graduation and the need for finding gainful employment looming over your head for four years, many begin to wonder: does my man have a future?