Penn Closes in Solidarity With Fro Gro
First, Fro Gro closes its sacred doors, and now Penn is closing due to the “coronavirus?” Sure, Jan. There’s no way we’re believing that nonsense.
Most Recent
Dedicated! This Student Has Been Socially Distancing Herself From Hometown Friends Since High School
Under the Button reached out to every single one of Greenfield’s high school friends, and was able to get in contact with all both.
Penn to Administer All Spring Exams Through Kahoot
Answer choices include the red triangle, blue diamond, yellow circle, and green square.
Letter from the Editor: We’re Still Here, Fuckers
See you all in quarantine!
Professor Going to Be That Close to Camera Entire Zoom Call
As the conference call began for URBS 250: City Planning for Climate Change, students began to realize that Professor Stanley Markowitz was going to be that close to the camera the entire call.
Fuck......................
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck!!!
Penn to Introduce Troll Under 38th Street Bridge
Professor Devito will live directly under the bridge but may come out at night and surprise students.
Sad! My Computer Gives Me Drexel Ads Because It Knows I'm Not Smart Enough for Penn
You know what they say, “cheaters never win,” and I’m learning just how true that is. My laptop is fighting for academic integrity. In short, my computer keeps giving me Drexel ads because it KNOWS that I don’t belong here.
Penn Dining Now Takes Drexel Dining Dollars: Just Like Everywhere Else
The University declined to respond, citing the inability to hear concerns over the sound of money pouring in from freshman dining plans.
8 Easy Classes You Can Take Senior Fall Because You Dropped a CU Every Semester
You thought that dropping a class in the middle of a party, because you didn't want to study for the midterm, was funny. You thought that it was a party trick. It became your party trick.
Depressing: All Known Areas of Study Just Become Staring at Excel Spreadsheets Sooner or Later
“When I first came to Penn, I thought I had the world at my fingertips,” Clyde Orear (C ‘22) recalled, eyes watery. “But it turns out all they teach you here is how to use Analysis ToolPak.”
Oh Fuck: Your Professor Just Said the Fuck Word
I also think historians should "stop using the fucking Enlightenment to explain every aspect of 18th-century western birthrate trends.”
Wharton Behavioral Lab Finds Penn Students Will Do “Literally Anything” for $5
"I’d do a lot of stuff for $10. Like I mean, while I do value my dignity, my valuation of it is only $6 — on a good day.”
OP-ED: Just Because I Got Cake Doesn't Mean I Shouldn't Be Allowed in Fisher
Just because you have a ban on food does NOT mean my cake shouldn’t be allowed in Fisher.
Survey Finds Most Popular Beer Among Architecture Majors to Be Natural Light
Keystone Light came in at a close second.
Kelly Writers House to Allow Outdoor Smoking to Reduce Indoor Smoking
The decision comes in an attempt to curb the rampant complaints of second-hand smoke within the house.
2020-2021 Dress Code will Allow Leggings, Tank Tops
Students have been lobbying for this change for years, claiming Penn’s “two-finger” strap width and “no athletic pants” policies are vague, outdated, and originate from elitist, sexist ideologies.
SEPTA to Start Cracking Down on Trolley Drivers Who Aren’t Blackout Drunk
Lindsay Lohan, chairwoman of SEPTA, told Under the Button about the years of high-level thinking that went into this decision: “Our riders expect their trolley rides to be violent, unpredictable, and uncontrollable."
Modern Day Homer? This Student Writes for the Odyssey Online
“I personally think Odyssey is a catalyst for social change,” Parsons said. “There are conversations that people need to be having, like such as about how feminism is just not super important for me personally, and it’s fine if it is for you, but I need you to respect my point of view as a writer.”
