Poly Sci Professor Once Again Vowing to Release Lectures On-Time Next Week
The professor will remain anonymous for his own sake, but he knows damn well who he is.
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Plot-Twist! Those Frat Fliers Slipped Under Your Door Were Actually Provisions for Toilet-Paper Shortage
With grocery stores across the globe failing to meet the demand for toilet-paper, Penn officials slept soundly knowing their student body was provided with a stockpile of paper materials.
Poly Sci Professor Once Again Vowing to Release Lectures On-Time Next Week
The professor will remain anonymous for his own sake, but he knows damn well who he is.
Rachel Offers Free Spaghetti Eating ASMR During Zoom Class
As Rachel Connolly (E ‘22) slurped, slopped, and slogged back her plate of spaghetti, it was difficult for anyone to focus on what was being presented on the slides. People attempted to type in chat to draw her attention to heroically save her from a lifetime of embarrassment but to no avail.
Plot-Twist! Those Frat Fliers Slipped Under Your Door Were Actually Provisions for Toilet-Paper Shortage
With grocery stores across the globe failing to meet the demand for toilet-paper, Penn officials slept soundly knowing their student body was provided with a stockpile of paper materials.
Report: Yup, Bedroom Ceiling Still Looks the Same
Yup. Exactly the same. No differences here. Same color too. Oh, wait... is that crack new? No, that’s been there since middle school. Right, right.
Student Jet Lagged After Huge Trip Taking out Trash
He opened the door and faced the harshness of the elements. It was a sunny day, 78 degrees, and the sun was blinding. Was this God’s punishment? Indeed.
Dad Buys 9-cubic Feet Freezer and Potatoes 'Just in Case'
“Oh yeah,” he responded. “I also bought this AK-47. Just in case, you know.”
Shocking! Social Smoker Still Smoking
“Baby, I don’t think that’s your last cigarette.”
Beautiful! With Humans Staying Home, Forests of Leg Hair Return to Their Natural States
We are the real virus... :/
Five Quarantine Activities That Are All Just Reading the Bible
Scott Newman
Friday, April 17, 2020Fri, Apr 17, 2020
TAKE THIS TIME TO COME CLOSER HIM, TO FIND HIS SALVATION.
Feeling a Little Down? You Deserve It.
Lfklfjksj uughwhjhsd brughsgdjhds hhdjdj ughhhhhshj. Agfshddhdfjkfd.
President’s Engagement Prize Awarding $250,000 To Anyone Looking to Try Something Out in West Philly
Although the participants candidly admitted they could not predict the future of their projects, they all felt this experience would have long term and sustainable impacts on how they approach their work once they begin as consultants for McKinsey.
Figments of Our Collective Imagination: Amy Gutmann As a Mythological Symbol of the American Dream
Always appearing at official university functions, but only from a distance. So rarely seen that meeting her around campus is a newsworthy event — one that must be documented with photographic evidence for your peers.
Has COVID Gone Too Far? Trevor Forced to Wear His "Left at Home" Shirts
Spearman displayed several shirts over Zoom. "I just want you guys to know how bad it is out here on the front lines." Indeed, one shirt asked the viewer to "find x" in the style of an algebra problem, while simultaneously circling the letter "x" in red. Truly horrifying.
OP-ED: Penn Should Let Students Choose Their Own Grade
That girl from your chem class that had to get her eyes rinsed three times this semester? Definitely knows she deserves a B- at best. And for you, the one person in your class that actually gets your work done on time and perfectly crafts every essay and problem set despite being drunk or hungover the entire weekend? The coveted A+, reserved for only the worthiest of students.
OP-ED: S-S-Sorry I Ha ve a Bad Zo om conn ct on. Can Y He ar Me Now?
My n ame's Blurr yface an d I c are w hat y ou thi nk
Survey: Help Us Improve the Penn Experience, Again
Ian Ong
Wednesday, April 15, 2020Wed, Apr 15, 2020
UTB needs your help yet again to assess the experience of Penn students as we continue to provide refined, high-caliber reading material.
Wow! Penn Really Not Gonna Change to Pass/Fail
Public response to the move was overwhelmingly negative as some students are put at a disadvantage due to lack of resources and others claim, "the stress of having to study is too much for them."
So Sad! This "Quarantine" Thing Is Mildly Inconvenient For Travis :(
Travis is as close to struggling as he has ever been, and he would really like your attention right now.
OP-ED: Here’s How Tulsi Can Still Win
Now I know that Tulsi dropped out a while back, but I’m pretty sure that whole “dropping out” thing was a fakeout. Let’s look at the math.
Main Line Girl Who Goes Home Every Weekend 'Starting to Miss Campus'
"On very special occasions, like the birthday of Theresa’s favorite horse, Timothée, her mother might even pick up Theresa and her laundry basket from campus."
