“Alright future chemists, riddle me this: what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?”

We're all looking for a little bit of light in this dark chapter of world history.

I used to think that I would never be able to create a masterpiece as good as Veronica Roth's Divergent, but now, with the COVID-19 workshop, I can really imagine what it would be like to live in a world where you can never see the light of day. It’s inspiring!

What classes am I in this semester? Asking for a friend. 

I can literally feel my mental health deteriorating,” lamented Jared over a Zoom video interview, as he sat outside by his heated pool. “It’s going to be tough, but if I pull through this semester and pass all my classes, well, I mean, that’s a true testament to the strength of the human will."

While we recognize that our establishment is closed, because of your lack of support, we want to assure you that we are still here for you.

This information itself comes from President Donald Trump’s most recent Twitch livestream.

Please remember to keep your umbrellas closed when walking through the wind tunnel; it is a matter of public safety.

“Jokes? What jokes? I don’t write jokes.”

Maybe he's related.... to the Huntsman family...... No, there's no way. It can't be...

Despite leaving them in her charging case for thirty-four minutes prior, her milky white listening devices have failed her. 

Uh-oh… it’s happening again.

“Yeah, now that I think about it, this global pandemic has actually worked out really well for me.” 

Experts have estimated this cure will save at least 100,000 lives worldwide.

Sentano hinted at the possibility of a prohibition-themed mixer that could take place in the near future, but would not confirm anything because, "we don't want anyone else to steal our idea."

Even more apparent was her perfect 1080p 60fps video quality. It was top-of-the-line image perfection with every detail perfectly outlined on camera.

"By visiting others, you could be putting yourself — and your loved ones — at risk, no matter how fun it is to break all your friends' rocks and run around whacking them with a net. Believe me, I know.”

Per medical guidelines, Scorpios will not be allowed on the premises.

College senior Tommy Anderson just got a podcast, and you’re gonna fucking listen to it.

If she had seen the "hey" that you sent four days ago at 3:24 A.M., blind drunk off of eight dollar Pinot Grigio and loneliness, she absolutely would have responded. Right?