The new dorm building, which will be designed by famed 6-year-old architect Calvin and his associate Hobbes, will be built using materials supplied by Amazon@Penn. For instance, walls and structural elements will be constructed with cardboard and fastened with postage tape; recycling bins will be used as toilets. 

While sitting in his PSYC 162 lecture, Doyle perfectly spelled physiological in his notes.

A select group of high-achieving, outgoing, white, male second years would be selected to board with Gutmann and her husband in their 13,975 square-foot house on Walnut. This would allow Gutmann to show solidarity with the sophomores, who must now overpay for a shared room with a hotel kitchenette.

Natasha posted on her LinkedIn later that night. u201cThis does not reflect on my character as a worker and was a one time mistake. This does not represent who I am.u201d

Slowly undo the velcro on both shoes. Really draw it out so that people will think that you’re done before hearing even more separating velcro.

Never (never) have I been able to indulge in the sweet, elusive nectar that is the Mango Dragon Fruit Refresher.

Basically, what I’m saying is that I know how to appreciate living in Philadelphia. I explore, and sometimes I take pictures since I like to document the neat things I see.

FFP is part of a larger international divestment movement, led by 350.org. Since its inception seven years ago, the campaign has been so effective in moving capital away from the fossil fuel industry that it was cited by Peabody Energy as one of the primary reasons they were forced to declare bankruptcy in 2016.

On March 6th, Grace Qi (C '21) ordered a chipotle chicken torta with a side of chips and guacamole from Frontera. For the last seven months, she has been waiting for her order on the ground floor of Arch Cafe. For over half a year, she has subsisted solely on chip crumbs and rats she managed to capture from the Frontera kitchen area. 

You probably look up to Elon Musk, yeah?

Upon further inquiry into Staleman’s life at home, Staleman replied “I would drink piss for my boys. I have drunk piss for my boys! And I don’t even mean natty lite bro. Piss into my mouth, bro! Do it, bro!”

Oh hey! Are you also heading over to class now? Sweet me too. I was worried I was going to be late, but you’re here too.

Me purchasing Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and making them my exclusive energy source is the pinnacle of economic efficiency.

It has everything a single Penn student could want: the proportions of a 21-year-old male and 2,400 fluid ounces of crisp rose. It’s just like your old boyfriend except it’s full of bad wine instead of a bad personality. 

Chloe Jameson (E ’20) is one of many participants. You can find her sitting cross-legged in College Hall, demanding Penn’s divestment from oil, coal, and gas companies, chanting about the looming threat of sea-level rise. But, what if you ask her which bin to put a crumpled sheet of paper in? Expect a blank stare in return. 

Picture this: I’m sitting in my room and I hear music through the wall, coming from the shared living space in this house. I wouldn’t describe the music as pleasant. In fact, it was absolutely heinous. Usually, I’m a pretty considerate roommate. Low maintenance. Chill. But if I have to listen to this playlist for another second of my life, I’m going to fucking lose it.

I can honestly report that Castle parties really aren’t that great — people just asked me if I could unclog the upstairs bathroom drain.

 I now stare at my phone for hours, laughing at videos that are nearly identical.

Step right up and experience the interactive fortune-telling magic brought to you by UTB! It’s simple: all you need to do is enter your 8-digit PennID into the box below, and you will receive your own unique, personalized fortune. Will you be wealthy? Will you find love? I don’t know!

Several informants confirmed that Patrick could often be seen looking cool while being nice to people around campus.