To Brightson, the minutes stretched on like eternities. After ten of them, she started getting sober. After 20, she was painfully sober. After 30, she wondered if she had made a mistake. At the 45 minute mark, Brightson fully gave in, returned home, and collapsed into her bed.

Because, as you know, people who shop at Micro Mart are anything but micro, in any sense of the word.

DRL A4 looks less like a lecture hall, and more like a Black Friday sale at Walmart.

President Trump, following a wave of vaping related deaths, has issued restrictions that would ban the sale of “flavored e-cigarettes” until their approval by the FDA. "Human children everywhere are saying 'he really cares about the children!'" reported one White House official.

Talk about a class where you can really learn about yourself! Even better than PHIL 277 Conceptions of the Self, this class literally referenced College junior Gerry Kard in the title.

In a surprising 12 place jump, Williams Hall has beat out Van Pelt and Huntsman Hall in the 2019 Daily Pennsylvanian Safest UPenn Academic Building Rankings. 

I’ll send you guys my pitches and you go ahead and publish them. I’ll get to work on the parodies.

Whenever I ask for a nice chai, I know that I can count on the barista to scoff at my embarrassingly basic taste in caffeinated beverages.

Not sure what classes you should take next semester? UTB and your peers have you got covered by revealing the brutal truth behind some of Penn's most popular courses.

The five-minute conversation consisted of Reed playfully arguing with the four male students in the front row while the rest of the class watched.

Take this quiz to find out if she's rejecting you with an emotionally devoid tourniquet of silence or if she's actually into you but foregoing technological and verbal communication in the pursuit of deliberate living with her classmates in the monk class.

Since the big reveal, fitness nuts from all over have tested their mettle on the facility’s indoor climbing wall in a spectacle of blood, sweat, and tears. Running through their minds is just one simple goal: the resplendent glory of being crowned a fourth-floor fitness king.

"And yeah, so I’ve been trapped working in this Subway ever since."

For Freshman Mike Tannenbaum, his new college hobby has become drinking until he vomits — at least once a weak. According to Tannenbaum's friends, they think it’s so fine and cool he has something he’s passionate about and are happy for him and not concerned.

His advisor was AWOL, MIA. His altruistic spirit: crushed entirely to a pulp.

Everyone talks about how Stanford is this really good school, but I don’t really understand it. What makes them so special? Is there something I’m missing here?

While many of his peers are caught in the trap of either being so confident that they misjudge everything or being so insecure that they can barely get out of bed in the morning, Mung found the perfect solution.

After years of thinking that the University's infamous On Campus Recruiting program was a celebratory rat-pride week called "On Campus Rats," they recently learned the truth. 

7. Beto O’Rourke: Rolled Ice Cream: Its trendy, expensive, and ultimately exactly the same as other, less expensive and easier to eat ice cream. Looks great on Instagram. 

The house is set to be finished two weeks ago, as it is simply a storage container in the Class of 25 alleyway, possibly leftover from move-in.