Most Recent
Student Staring at Girls in Pottruck Just Anthropology Major
The publication quickly realized that the student's binoculars in-hand and camera roll populated with photos of sweaty girls were not the signs of a pervert but rather just an anthropologist.
Breaking: Chloe Malle Announced as Editor of American Vogue, Lex Lemer Announced as Editor of Her Own Homework
International Student From Greece Confused and Disappointed Greek Life Tabling Session Had No Feta
Greek lady did not live up to its expect to its expectstions.
Student Staring at Girls in Pottruck Just Anthropology Major
The publication quickly realized that the student's binoculars in-hand and camera roll populated with photos of sweaty girls were not the signs of a pervert but rather just an anthropologist.
Yes, Tariffs Will Affect Castle Brother's Dues
As usual, economists point out that it is the American consumer–not the PPE major from Zurich–who bears the burden of these policies: tickets to Castle’s Magic Gardens will now include an added “tariff fee."
Penn in Washington Opens New Campus in Spokane
Students interested in the program are encouraged to reach out to their advisors with any questions. Applications for the spring cohort, which will be led by famous Spokane resident and critical race theory professor Rachel Dolezal, open on September 17th and close on September 17th.
Shocking: Eating a Caprese Sandwich Every Day of the Summer Does THIS to Your Body
While you were sitting in a cubicle this summer, so was I. One fatal difference: I was eating a caprese sandwich.
Last Night Was a Blur - Did I Enter the 9th Circle of Hell or a Penn Frat Party?
I scurry out, alongside two rats.
“I Gave My Girlfriend Her First STD” and Other Top Five Things to Bring Up at Your Next Consulting Club Coffee Chat
Make sure your coffee-chatter doesn't immediately regret meeting you.
Your Housewarming Sucked So I Turned On All Your Gas Burners and Left
Why the fuck were your overhead lights on?
Thousands Gather to Mourn 16-year Anniversary of Main Line Teen Disappearance
Alison DiLaurentis - "She's gone but she's everywhere"
OP-ED: Don’t Worry Seniors, You Still Have One Year to Make the Lifelong Friends You Haven’t Made Yet
Hope is not lost for you yet, washed-up seniors. You still have a chance. Two semesters, two chances to succeed. Maybe it’s not too late to get tapped for a senior society. That’ll fix everything.
Nothing Matters and Everything Is Divine
Dark denims or linen pants
New Study Shows Freshmen Who Live in Renovated Quad Have 50% Less Testosterone
The effects of lowered testosterone levels on future consulting club executive boards and Tridelt-Hall relations will be devastating.
The Summer I Got Caught in a Phishing Scheme
And suddenly, I was caught in the crossfire of a devious scheme.
Between Two Clubs, Episode 1: Mask and Wig
OP-ED: I am the GBF to These Hot Girls in a Top Sorority Right Here, and You Will Treat Me as Such
These two bodacious blonde bombshells and this bitchy gay boy? We're a package deal. Now let us into your All-White Party!
Guest Essay: My Visit to Pottruck Student Fitness Center by Ocean Vuong
All this time I told myself that I go to the gym as a habit of health — but I was wrong, Ma. I have been deceitful to you, but how could you understand why? Because the thing about beauty is that it’s only beautiful outside of itself.
BREAKING: Ashley, Maya Is Planning on Asking Drew to Tri Delta Date Night Too
Also, Amelia called you fat at APES late night
