Upon reflection, I’m not actually that mad about the whole roofie situation — I’ve always wanted a chance to see Eastern Europe. However I have developed a nasty biting habit since then. My boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind, though! He freaky like that.
Undergraduate students enrolled in the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania will be exempt from service.
Upon reflection, I’m not actually that mad about the whole roofie situation — I’ve always wanted a chance to see Eastern Europe. However I have developed a nasty biting habit since then. My boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind, though! He freaky like that.
The Department of State announced late last Wednesday that it would contract with the Alpha Phi International Women’s Fraternity, Eta Iota Chapter to provide intelligence on the rapidly evolving situation in Iran.
Undergraduate students enrolled in the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania will be exempt from service.
President Trump, please send me to the front lines. If you don’t, I might have to work in consulting.
While not a novel idea, only a handful of past presidents have attempted to try this: On Tuesday, the Department of War announced an unlimited number of spots for willing participants in the Middle East “Freedom from Life” operation.
The break was so restful and amazing. At present, I can only wear red and green and there are some parts of Philly, that I should not have gone to before, and I simply cannot go to now!
Danya Dzebissov, a junior pursuing a mathematics degree within the College of Arts and Sciences, has recently distinguished himself in a field his professors have yet to formally recognize: reel analysis.
Further changes involve the introduction of a loud, fluorescent light-induced buzzing noise in the Goldstein Undergraduate Study Center, a replacement of all group study rooms with chastity study carrels, and the addition of cushioned toilet seats.
With so many causes competing for attention, the Panhellenic Council has chosen to direct all proceeds toward animal cruelty — specifically, ensuring that dogs across Philadelphia have access to proper nail grooming through their partner organization, Nails N Paws.
It's the best week of the year for some.
“This level of commitment is what we usually only see in day traders and people refreshing their ex’s Instagram,” said one behavioral psychologist.
“In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death, taxes, and added protein,” - Ben Franklin, more or less.
Mark "Punch" Goldberg was dropped by APES on Monday after saying a slur in public and not behind closed doors like he is supposed to.
He needs you to know that he’s better than you for taking a break and deleting the apps for a while (2 hours) and that he’s trying to improve himself via attention span resetting, dopamine cleansing, and internal work.
The climate is stable and they are not talking about it.
In this exposé, I shall present to readers photo exhibits and real-life images of what I mean when I say old white women with pixie cuts are evil evil creatures, brought upon the earth to poison us with their thoughts and actions.
One graduate student had suggested increasing the amount of sides from two to three. She was immediately executed on the spot.
Solutions by The State News
