Eavesdropping Gone Wrong: Woman on Train is Actually Super Boring
If you're going to talk in the quiet car at least make it about something cool like insider trading.
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“I’m Excited to Announce” and Other LinkedIn Humble Brags That Scream “I Have a Micropenis”
“I’m excited to announce…” Translation: “Please validate me.”
“Can’t Take Me Anywhere!" This Girl From Queen Village Knows Every Word to Dreams and Nightmares
Beth from Bainbridge street is so valid.
‘I Haven’t Played the New York Times Games Today’ and Other Things To Think About While Your Girlfriend Breaks up With You
Oh, woe is me! Boohoo! It’s not that deep, bro. You were only with her for 5 years. Get over it.
Flu Shot Horror Story: My Nurse Was in SDT
I have a tattoo behind my ear and I’m still scared of needles and do you believe in false dichotomies?
I Used My Platinum AMEX to Swipe Into Huntsman and It Worked
Who needs a Penn card when you have a credit card?!!
“Are You Registered to Vote?” Asks Woman Pointing One Gun at You and One at Her Own Head
There is a lot at stake in this upcoming election. Our democracy is on the ballot, and so is your right for me not to fill your lungs with more metal than a vape.
Four Recipes for Cooking Moo Deng
I’m not sure what type of animal she is but she looks delicious.
Fasting for God or Fitting Into Jeans? This Yom Kippur, UTB Asks: Why Not Both?
This Yom Kippur, I’ll be thanking God for the ultimate gift: repentance and a size 24.
UTB Investigation Finds Creepy Pottruck Portrait Couple Lowkey Chill
Although the portrait of the Meiklejohns can be offputting, UTB assures you that they’re pretty chill once you get to know them.
Childhood Stuffed Animal on Girl’s Bed Seen A Lot Since Freshman Year
This little guy's been with her through thick and thin. And, he has the scars to prove it: a small tear from years of loving hugs, a scratched glass-eye from falling out the car window on a family road-trip, and now, a crusty patch of fur from Amanda’s recent situationship.
Beware: The Tickle Monster Is Coming to Crows
They will tell their bouncer to kindly inform all attendees that a “special guest” may be showing up.
Unsurprising: Wharton Student Found at Urinal With Pants and Underwear at His Ankles
This is not the first time this has happened to me, and I’m not longer shocked and appalled by it.
WTF! WLCNO (Weingarten Learning Center New Offering): HTDAAP (How To Decode Acronyms At Penn)
Why tf are acronyms so difficult at Penn??
Quiz: J. Larry Jameson Lunch Order or Bible Verse?
Eat, drink, and be merry!
What My Commons Dinner Says About You
I am the fucking Commons alpha.
