To Improve Mental Health, Penn to Hang Two More Icicle Lights This Year
This will give students a staggering thirty extra seconds of exposure to the finest mental health resource out there: artificial LED light.
News
Everyone on Campus Was Terrified by My Costume. I Was Poverty for Halloween.
I had to look up what "poverty" was in the dictionary. I wad appalled when I read the definition.
To Improve Mental Health, Penn to Hang Two More Icicle Lights This Year
This will give students a staggering thirty extra seconds of exposure to the finest mental health resource out there: artificial LED light.
Midterm Seasonal Depression Cured by Vaguely Ethnic Frozen Meal From Grommons
I know one thing will always be there for me: my culturally diverse but also culturally sensitive but also culturally accommodating Grommons frozen meal exchange section.
Everyone on Campus Was Terrified by My Costume. I Was Poverty for Halloween.
I had to look up what "poverty" was in the dictionary. I wad appalled when I read the definition.
Breaking: My Cat Costume Was So Good That When I Got MERTed They Took Me to Penn Vet
I don't think it helped that I was meowing instead of speaking...
Eavesdropping Gone Wrong: Woman on Train is Actually Super Boring
If you're going to talk in the quiet car at least make it about something cool like insider trading.
The Daily Pennsylvanian Replaces All Staff Writers With Infinite Monkeys on Infinite Typewriters
What happens when they do inevitably write the complete works of Shakespeare?
“Can’t Take Me Anywhere!" This Girl From Queen Village Knows Every Word to Dreams and Nightmares
Beth from Bainbridge street is so valid.
I Used My Platinum AMEX to Swipe Into Huntsman and It Worked
Who needs a Penn card when you have a credit card?!!
“Are You Registered to Vote?” Asks Woman Pointing One Gun at You and One at Her Own Head
There is a lot at stake in this upcoming election. Our democracy is on the ballot, and so is your right for me not to fill your lungs with more metal than a vape.
UTB Investigation Finds Creepy Pottruck Portrait Couple Lowkey Chill
Although the portrait of the Meiklejohns can be offputting, UTB assures you that they’re pretty chill once you get to know them.
Childhood Stuffed Animal on Girl’s Bed Seen A Lot Since Freshman Year
This little guy's been with her through thick and thin. And, he has the scars to prove it: a small tear from years of loving hugs, a scratched glass-eye from falling out the car window on a family road-trip, and now, a crusty patch of fur from Amanda’s recent situationship.
Beware: The Tickle Monster Is Coming to Crows
They will tell their bouncer to kindly inform all attendees that a “special guest” may be showing up.
Unsurprising: Wharton Student Found at Urinal With Pants and Underwear at His Ankles
This is not the first time this has happened to me, and I’m not longer shocked and appalled by it.
WTF! WLCNO (Weingarten Learning Center New Offering): HTDAAP (How To Decode Acronyms At Penn)
Why tf are acronyms so difficult at Penn??
Quiz: J. Larry Jameson Lunch Order or Bible Verse?
Eat, drink, and be merry!
Penn Announces Use of Nuclear Weapons in Fisher Hassenfeld Renovations
The idea has received 'glowing' reviews.
This Fall, I'm Rushing Hashanah
My Bubbe always told me to reach for the stars.
‘An Inch Away From More Than Just Friends,’ Your Boyfriend and His Best Friend Know Every Lyric to This Chappell Roan Song
You found him the next week alone in his dorm with his eyes watering, staring at a picture of his best friend Richard Mater (C ’27), asking himself if it was casual now.
New Study Finds: The Worst Guy You Know Also Likes All of Keith McNally’s Instagram Posts
But, please, for the love of God. Just stop liking Keith McNally’s Instagram posts…
