Spoiler: It's not what you think!

I do not like commons green eggs and ham. I do not like this, Maya I am.

It's so worth it! It really does smell a little different on everyone.

And hey, it’s not like Philly is going to do anything about it. One resident close to the demolished shelter said, “This place kinda sucks” when I asked her how she felt about Penn’s most recent expansion.

This ruined the would-be event of the year for empty-nesters who now have nothing better to look forward to than amateur a cappella.

The critically acclaimed creep show You has a fifth season set in the most perilous, abstract, iridescent slice of paradise: United By Blue (Coffee (Inc(.))).

“Anyone else smell fish?” asked a concerned bystander.

"I think this one means love... Or if you ask my boyfriend, it means rock on!"

Adam was enduring his sixth hour at Penn and ninth hour of “family time” that day.

Bregoli recently had a moving speaking engagement at Oxford University, which is a big deal if you pronounce your r’s weirdly and can’t cook.

He did corporate finance, I wrote about instability in the middle east... we are the posterboys for diversity at Penn. <3

The magazine, known for printing students' grainy low lit nudes and try hard poetry, is venturing into pranks as performance art.

It just needs a zap of electricity to make some basic monomers.

Home is where John is. 

It was a simpler time; I still considered myself pre-med, ate McClelland eight times a week, and protested Castle.

How did this man have access to all this information? The answer may shock you.

If this is the price we must pay, I say let the daylight go unsaved.

They can correctly answer how long Oz lived in New Jersey, but have zero clue what the chain rule is.

Sure, ghosts, zombies and vampires are scary, but wouldn’t we rather face poltergeists and the undead than face loneliness, ostracization, apathy, and disappointed parents? 

Like what the fuck is Magic Gardens and how is it going to impact the economy?