Everything about this house says: I was the longest serving president in Penn history.
taketh me hence in an ambulance, a warmeth forehead’s kiss <3
Shall I let the image of me approaching imminent death hang above my head like the Sword of Damocles? My mortality alone is principle enough.
Cishet men/women dating in a nebulous queer way shall immediately be VPs of the diversity and inclusion committee.
When I met him during move-in my heart skipped a beat. So did my mom's.
I am a top student at the University of Pennsylvania, not a prostitute.
Indeed, I have even attempted walking closely behind freshmen with hopes of corralling the trailings of their unregulated pheromones into my shell of a body.
A failed situationship did not derail my life for four months!
If I lived in Rodin, all my dreams would come true.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL IF YOU SKIP THIS ARTICLE YOU WILL HAVE BAD KARMA FOREVER!!!! AND A PIANO WILL DROP ON YOUR HEAD AT 11:11PM!!!!!!
I know I’m terribly naive, but doesn’t cleaning need water?
I must conquer both my quirky, boyish, relatable self, and my petite, teeny-tiny, hourglass figure.
In fact, they are proud to accept fat people! Sorority bids are entirely based on controllable traits, such as wealth, clothes, and acne.
I am speaking my truth.
Why are we waging war on our circadian rhythm?
I look at my resume. Job experience: tennis teacher. Clubs and activities: under the button. Darn it, this won’t get me that internship at Goldman Sachs.
I slept in the Moelis Family Grand Reading Room, the ATO roof deck, under the button, and the Quad Catacombs.
First, I began sneaking them into our texts. “Hey — can we talk tonight?” “Do you want to hang out — maybe next Friday?” “Wow, that GIF you sent of a guy slipping and falling head-first into a tub full of hot sauce was — frankly — pretty epic.”
Wait until your code isn’t looking, then scream “Yahtzee!” really loudly. Before you know it, your code will be speeding out of there in no time flat.
See this waterfall? It can go fuck itself too.