Trash pickup is conveniently close, utilities are free, and pets are not only allowed but also included with the lease.

Penn students are known for being pretty lame in the grand scheme of things, so it’s absolutely shocking to see a certified skater boi show his face on campus.

Perhaps the most advanced feature of the new advising system is seamless integration with Pennintouch.

A new study from the University of Pennsylvania conclusively proves that I literally cannot stop tears from flowing down my cheeks.

Many believe that the bond between parent and child is sacred and foundational to our society. However, this sort of myopic, me-first viewpoint endangers the very bedrock of equality and justice.

He is literally my dream guy. You know, if he didn’t do all of those bad things, I guess.

Mr. Grant’s Papa energy is so strong that whenever I see him sitting down I have to actively fight the urge to sit on his lap and ask for a bedtime story.

“Technically, the first amendment supports me in that...” no, Braden. Do not bring the first amendment into your pants. Just chill out. 

Bryant believes that “all urban studies majors got accepted due to clerical errors.”

The hours are long, the work is thankless, and sometimes the morality isn't clear, but is being a mercenary really so different from consulting?

Witnesses report that the scarf began slowly inching its way up, enveloping her neck, then face, and soon her entire head. 

That sweet new body-bag you just got for Christmas was tossed into a HeavyDuty trash bag, driven out to the Main Line, and put in a donation bin. Try getting it now!

As you turned around to see which dumbass made such an inane statement, you saw Daniel with a confident smile plastered on his face. 

I now save all of the homework for my seven classes for the night it's due! And when I can't finish it all in 45 minutes, I tell myself it's because I'm naturally bad at math, and I will never be as good as the other engineers!

She managed to make her meal prepped food last only 1.5 hours after cooking it. 

All meetings and conferences held by PBC will take place in the Concourse ball pit.

While all of you schmucks are probably carelessly snapping photos of your junk (emphasis on the junk), I’m making art.

Two groups want a chunk of land. Draw a line down the middle. Each group gets half. Bada bing bada boom.

UTB was told by construction officials that they have begun the search for new green spaces! That excavator is digging away, searching for that sweet, sweet green that lies just beneath High Rise Field.

 I am here to tell you all that familial affection is all you need to feel good.