Wilco had no comment. But I could tell he was proud to be an American.
Poor baby, you don’t know anything about reality. You probably don’t even have lesions on your genitals. How are you going to work at a big, bad company like Goldman without a disfiguring STI?
Handshake calls itself “the largest career community for students and recent grads.” Well, do you know where diseases spread? That’s right — communities. And do you know how they spread? Physical touch.
Sure, I didn’t read Goffman’s The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life but I’m sure you didn’t either. Where was the romance? The suspense?
My fan might be small, but my wind-fueled hatred towards you and everything you stand for is immense.
If ladies want to show off as a little bit of skin, why shouldn't they? Let them dress up as a slutty devil, a cop showing some cleavage, or literally anything else. They're just having fun and not hurting anyone. As long as they're not painting their faces the colors of Joaquin Phoenix's Joker, I don't see any problem with it.
Like any self-hating Jew, I love me a good sukkah. Who wouldn’t want to spend the holidays in a cubic hut?
Depending on your natural features, some Penn Faces will be more flattering on you, and it’s critical that you choose the right one. Do you see how good everyone else looks? That’s because they’re matching their Penn Face to their face shape, and you’re not. And that’s because they have more friends than you and are more accomplished than you are.
Listen! It’s SO fine that you don’t get it, because I have very particular taste in shows and other forms of popular media, and not everyone is like that! But I do want to make sure we are on the same page about one thing: this costume IS funny.
After days trying to write jokes, a thought came to my head: Why isn’t it hilarious to make fun of nursing students? Isn't nursing a big thing here or something?
Knock knock! Hi! My name’s Lucy. I’m a sophomore, haha. I was just looking by and couldn’t help but notice what a nice, cozy little townhouse you have here!
Come clean to the world, Mark. Admit the true origins of Libra.
Oh are my plumes of fumes bothering you? Sorry not sorry, cause this is my emotional support juul and I need it to function.
This might sound difficult, but don’t fret.
If you could read, you would know this is reserved.
I’m sure the climate strike is important or whatever, but the UN says the world is ending in twelve years and I need to make sure I’m rich enough to afford a bunker.
Listen, I know there’s coffee in it. I know that there’s something else because it’s not just regular coffee. I don’t know how it’s different from a cappuccino or why it seems to cost more. Do I need to know these things to order it everywhere I go? No!
Their cigarettes haphazardly dangle from the corners of their mouths as they launch verbal assaults in the hopes of gaining entrance — the hope to be just as they are, but under the safety of a ceiling.
MY EMAIL! I’M TALKING ABOUT THAT EMAIL THAT YOU APPARENTLY HAVE NOT SEEN AND MAYBE WILL NOT SEE.